REAL VOICES
What is frequently missing from the conversations about
abortion is the real words of women and men who have chosen abortion. What follows
are the words from individuals who have written in journals in clinics, letters,
and feedback forms. You can also link to other sites where real people talk about
abortion.
Never
in my dreams did I ever think I would have an abortion. And all the girls I knew
who had done this thought they were cruel and naïve. But now that I'm here I see
that having this abortion was the best option for both my family and me. I'm scared
and sad and I hope and pray that God will forgive me and give me children. There
are just so many things in my life that I want to accomplish before I have a baby.
And maybe it's selfish but I'd rather finish my goals and have something to offer
my child than to have my child with nothing. Please God forgive me and help me
with this sadness.
...Every time I was nervous the staff was there to comfort me. So, it turned out
to be a pretty good experience. The nurses and staff are wonderful people with
enthusiasm and care. Thanks for making a very difficult situation pleasant!
This was such a difficult decision for me-one I prayed about for two months. But
as a single parent of a nine year old boy, not to mention being unemployed...all
of these factors would not be an ideal situation for a child to be born into.
I pray for God's forgiveness and mercy on my soul. And to watch over my unborn
baby in heaven. I also pray for my baby to forgive me for being unable to properly
take care of him or her. Someday I look towards a hopefully bright future-one
with a man who truly loves my son and I. And I hope that God will bless me with
another child someday when the time is right-born into a loving home that is financially
stable. Please forgive me Lord-I love you and my unborn child.
This is the second visit and I'm waiting here with a stomach ache, no matter what
the bible-thumping pro-lifers say or do, this was a must. having a child now would
have filled me with animosity for my own offspring. I have so much I want to do,
so little money to accomplish it. This was a hard decision to make, but it's good
to feel like this is a safe, clean place and you are providing a service that
should not be apposed (sic), as a 20 something I know the result of a dysfunctional
family. I didn't want to start one. The hardest part for me is not being able
to be with her through this part and worrying about the chances of complications.
You Do what you need to do, You won't be Judged by God for not having a child
you could not love 100% or feed or clothe... Don't Judge Yourselves of being responsible
enough to know that !!! (male perspective, age 21)
I am here with my 18 year old daughter and her grandmother. I am supporting my
daughter 100% no matter what. I myself had 4 abortions. All for different reasons.
It's a very hard decision to make. But I believe only the woman carrying the baby
really knows what's best. My daughter took a long time before she really came
to this final decision. She went back and forth for the past 10 weeks. But I stood
by her and made sure she knew she is loved no matter what and this decision should
be hers and hers alone. Although other members of my family seemed to support
her having the baby a little too much--I know why-- I come from a very dysfunctional
family. People don't seem to think before they speak and don't think very logically.
To those unsure just be sure it is your decision and find a supportive friend
or family member to help you through it. You only have one life to live so make
the most of what you have. (A loving mom, age 36)
I'm sitting here today hoping I'm doing the right thing. I'm still not sure. This
has been a very difficult time for me. I'm consitently (sic), and can't hold any
food down. The father of my baby thinks he's been supportive, but he can't even
begin to feel, or know how I feel right now. He thinks being supportive is calling
me when he gets home from work every night at 11 pm to let me know he's home.
He thinks giving me money for an abortion is supportive, but it's not. I needed
someone to talk to, someone to tell me everything is going to be OK, I guess I
just wanted someone (him) to tell me that what I was doing was the right thing
and that no matter w hat he'll always be there. But it didn't happen like that.
I hope that Allmighty Allah forgives me for this sin, but I know in my heart this
is the right thing for me to do right now. ("Too old
for this mess" Age 25)
I'm here with a friend--She has made this choice to avoid many hard obstacles
in the future. I myself an against abortion, but then again so was she. Sometimes
I think of all my other friends who are so careless and never at a place like
this. And then this friend so cautious and caring--I give her a lot of credit
because she knows that she would not be able to bring a child up and she' not--
Her Choice! It is so unfortunate also when there is no way in hell you could tell
your parents your situation. I know I couldn't because the second after I would
be homeless. I have already been warned of t hat, and for that reason I am here
today with my friend. Anyways, God Bless all you Mother's that are here with your
daughters--I admire you--I only wish there were more mothers like yourselves.
Anyways--stay strong and remember it's your choice and if you have good friends
they will help you and understand like I have done. (A
Friend)
From a MAN to the WOMAN he LOVES!! Be STRONG and learn! DON'T EVER look back in
anger towards this decision. EMBRACE IN WHAT YOU DO HAVE! "It has to get
worse, in order to get better." I LOVE YOU! Forgive me, for not knowing what
you are going through! IF I COULD I WOULD!!! Numb and tired,
Me
Today I read the other entries in this journal and can't help but feel the pain,
frustration, confusing and even the relief and love of all concerned. I have been
there many times, once for myself, and numerous times with friends and family.
It's definitely an emotional roller coaster. My words are to be strong at heart.
Each individual has to deal with their circumstances and ultimately their conscious
(sic). Trust in God's guidance and believe in His great capacity for understanding
and forgiveness. Don't negate His blessings bu feelings of guilt and doubt and
frustration. It's OK and understandable to mourn but we must go on. We must be
strong. Too often our guilt and frustration make us hide our true emotions and
lie about the impact. Go ahead and cry. Go ahead and shout, express your frustrations,
anger anxieties and even relief. For by only being true to yourself and feelings
can you allow yourself to go on... Forgive yourself, Be strong at heart. give
yourself a hug. Lots of love, Your Sister.
Today is my first and last time here. I would never have guessed that I would
find myself in an abortion clinic. Abortion was for "other people"--until
it happened to me. Making this decision was t he most difficult thing I have ever
been through. The stress that this has added to my life was definitely not worth
the heat of the moment unprotected sex. I quit taking my pills because I wasn't
active any more-- BIG MISTAKE. Right now I'm nervous. Religiously, I don't believe
in abortions. That is w hat makes this even harder. I have to believe that God
will forgive me. I hope to overcome this and go on with my life. I only have one
more year of college left and a bright future to look forward to. I'm afraid I
might not be able to be happy after this--But I have to be hopeful. For everyone
else w ho is in the situation--Be strong. this isn't something to be ashamed of.
This is your choice, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't worry, you'll
be okay.
This is my second time at Preterm (clinic). The first time I was 19 years old.
That was 3 years ago. Now I have a 2 year old baby girl that brings me lots of
joy. I walked out on that first time because it was not truly what I wanted to
do. Having a child is a very big step. I was a freshman in college and really
didn't have the support I needed from my family and from my boyfriend. I was a
student at the University and all of a sudden had to stop attending school for
a whole year because I had complications during my pregnancy. Now at age 22 I'm
pregnant again and this time I know I'm not ready for another child. I'm a junior
and I'm not ready to stop school again and start all over again raising another
child. Let me tell you it's hard. But through God anything and everything is possible
so not matter what decision you make keep faith in your creator and remember that
you will make it. (Age 22)
There are no good choices but at least we still have this choice. I wanted this
baby but realistically, I can't. This is my 3rd abortion and I used protection
everytime. I'm not stupid or uneducated about contraceptives. Just really really
unlucky. The worst part is, I love kids and want one of my own. But until I am
in a financial and emotional state to do it right, I can't. It's not fair to me
or the baby. Women, just remember, you didn't end up here by yourself, someone
helped you get pregnant. Don't be mean to yourself about it. I'm trying not to
be, but it's not easy. Like I said, sometimes there are no good choices. (Age
28)
I have never regretted the choices I have made in life. My choice to have the
abortion was right for me at the time. My choices to keep the babies were right
for me at the time. Today I am here with my 23 year old friend. She has made the
decision that is right for her at this time. Be strong. Don't listen to self righteous
individuals w ho can't understand why you are here today. Be true to yourself
first. Most of all, make plans for your future. Be proactive in life, not reactive.
Set objectives towards your goals in life and follow through so that you are never
the victim in life. You are special! You are good, decent and wonderful. Love
is there for you if you love yourself first. Don't forgive yourself if you have
nothing to forgive yourself for. Instead, love yourself and get on with living.
(From Someone who has been in your shoes and survived!)
Please, do not give up. My life has been forever changed by the six hours I spent
with you that day....I dropped out of a school that was not the place I was meant
to be, moved home, broke up with my boyfriend, worked different jobs, traveled,
and finally took the time I needed for myself. I decided that if I had made the
choice I did, then I owed it to myself, to you , to go out and live my life as
fully as I could and never again compromise the things I know I need for me....
"My life is finally my own and I owe so much of that to you. My abortion was the
most painful experience of my life but now I realize, two years down the road,
that the pain I felt was a wake up call to my spirit. I have learned how strong
I am through the long difficult nights I've spent alone and have discovered the
value of my own company. I could go on forever, but mainly, I want to say, from
the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you all so very very much. Don't give
up the fight... I am fighting with you. (20 something patient)
Thanks to the following clinics for submitting quotes from
their waiting room journals and files: Preterm in Cleveland OH, Allegheny
Reproductive Health, Pittsburgh PA, Whole Woman's Health, Austin TX, and Southern
Tier Women's Services, Vestal NY
