STORIES OF REAL CONVERSATIONS
Fly the Friendly Skies…
Ruth Arick
Choice Pursuits

I'm a consultant with 27 years experience in the field of abortion care. My time in this wonderful profession includes 15 years working in and managing abortion clinics and 12 years consulting with abortion clinics across the country. I have visited and worked with nearly 500 abortion facilities across the United States thus far.

In my travels I have experienced a variety of approaches to abortion care. The common thread in each practice is concern for the women - the patients. This genuine concern shows itself in very simple actions - holding a woman's hand - to sophisticated medical procedures that improve safety and comfort. The professionals in this field work hard to make each woman's abortion experience as positive as possible.

In fact, the staff in abortion clinics share very similar reasons for working in this field: they want to provide safe abortion services, they care about women, they want to work at a job that has meaning, they believe in reproductive freedom, they want to help people, they want to empower women, they want to teach, they want to make a difference in the world. (These are all reasons given by hundreds of clinic staff in various facilities.) The people who work in abortion clinics are dedicated, kind-hearted professionals who really do make a difference in the world.

In my career I have had the honor to be present for thousands of women's abortion experiences - from the reception desk, through counseling, during the actual abortion procedure, and in recovery. I have also made wonderful connections with many of the husbands, boyfriends, mothers, sisters, aunts, and friends who came as an advocate and support person. I have learned so much from my work with individual women and abortion clinics. One major lesson is that nearly everyone in this country has an abortion story - either her own, or his girlfriend or wife, or her sister, or his daughter, etc. I began to see abortion as a common - a bond that few talk about.

I've been particularly frustrated with the image of abortion providers in the past 10 years. We have been depicted as money-hungry, unethical, and murderous outcasts in the world of medicine. How could we expect the public to know who we really are when our antagonists the anti-abortion folks - were the only ones talking about us? The wrong people have been telling our story for too many years. And, because of very real security issues most abortion providers have avoided high profile situations in their communities. Ultimately the only people telling our stories were the people who disagree with us - or worse, actually hate us. I decided that part of my job is to speak up and speak out about our work in this honorable profession.

So, picture this…I'm boarding an airplane - my form of commuting. As I put away my suitcase, briefcase and purse and sit down the person next to me asks the universal business traveler question, "So, are you going home or heading out?" That's the opening to have a friendly chat about what each of us does for a living, how long we've been raveling, and how hard air travel has become.

The next question inevitably comes - what do you do? I have several ways to answer. If I'm tired and don't want to talk I simply say, "I'm a consultant." If I'm half-ready for a conversation, "I'm a health care consultant." If I'm ready for whatever comes next, "I'm a consultant, I work in abortion and family planning clinics around the country."

Nearly 10 years ago I decided that telling our stories was part of my "job description." So now when I board an airplane, settle in, and someone asks, "So, what do you do?" This rolls off my tongue, "I'm a consultant - I work in abortion clinics across the country." I make eye contact, smile, and wait for a response. I have been bowled over by the number of positive and thoughtful conversations that start with this simple disclosure. The person next to me inevitably tells me her/his abortion story - about herself, about his wife, about his sister/girlfriend/daughter, about someone close.

Here's my dream - that one day after boarding that airplane, getting comfortable, and telling my neighbor about my work - something magical happens. The person behind us overhears our conversation and says, "I had an abortion in a clinic in Atlanta and those people were so wonderful to me."

A person across the aisle pipes in, "My sister had an abortion in college and it changed her life - she graduated, fell in love and now has a wonderful family. I don't know what she would have done without that clinic."

Somewhere in front of us a man says, "I took my daughter to have an abortion - we were in Minneapolis - the people were kind and my daughter got to finish her childhood."

Over my left shoulder I hear, "I had an abortion - I was living in San Diego and already had two small kids. I couldn't possibly handle another one - I'm a single mom. Me and my girls are doing just fine."

And on and on and on - throughout the entire airplane people are sharing their abortion stories. It's as though this big silver bird, flying above the earth is the first safe place for people to talk about their abortion in public. There are no protesters, there are no judgmental fingers wagging - there is only understanding and appreciation for the people in the clinics that made these stories possible.

The dream goes farther - as these people leave the airplane still glowing from this uplifting experience - they begin to share their stories in other parts of their lives. Finally, each person has found her/his voice and a clear understanding of how powerful it is to share these stories. As a bonus, the image of abortion providers - what people really know about us - will shift to a true picture of the wonderful, dedicated professionals who stand with women throughout an abortion decision.

My fantasy is truly that airplanes act as a safe, contained space to experience the love and support of strangers when sharing an abortion story. As the travelers re-enter the world they carry and share the stories - like a Johnny Appleseed. Soon we won't need the safety of airplanes to tell our stories - we will simply expect the people who know and love us to listen to our abortion story with kindness and support.

I can't wait…